I know where I am, I'm at the bottom of peak-trough cycle that we all go through. I know whats caused this, its a variety of reasons over time, but this particular breakdown is due to the fact that I'm working with people who don't care about the system design as much as I do and the conflict of values is grating at my very being. I know what to do about it, but I'm finding it very hard to seek out a new company with a good role on offer that matches my various criteria. I know I'll get through it, I have always had a bit of trouble in accepting my current position as I knew the values fit was wrong, but I've stuck through it as its a learning experience that I needed to go through, and I've always been resourceful (read lucky) enough to get through such rutts in the past. I can't worry about everything, so I've basically dropped all my worries about my home life and have convinced myself that Icy can take care of them, and even if they aren't taken care of, I really cannot spare the mental energy to do it all right now without breaking or becoming someone I don't want to be; I am learning to just let things go and not care, both at work and home.

So you see, I am very annoyed, I am very tired, and I'm very disillusioned with both whats going on in the world and in my life.

But I've got through such things in the past, and I'm going to get through such things in the future, and I know my life is a billion times better than millions of people out there in the big bad world.

However, I do need time to mope and to just recooperate...so I may just give up on a few things, to let me focus my energies on the key lifeforce systems that keep me going.

This hasn't just happened, its been creeping up on me for a few years now, as a couple of people I know and have been moaning to about these things will testify - but I've not hit the event horizon. Something has to happen...and one of these things is that I have to reprioritise and get on with it, so that life will eventually return to normal, whatever the new normal will be.

So until then...be good, be peaceful, be free.


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tnn

I'm losing the plot. What is a blog, and why should I have one?

I'm not having a good time at work, its causing me to question everything.

Time to revive Tom, see if he leads me anywhere.......
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tnn

This is an interesting article - almost a sense of family first, until you see the pound signs.
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tnn