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Grass is greener?

Today is a weird day. I am finally off the project that had me working from 9am till 11pm every day and at weekends. However, the manner of my departure is weird. I believe I was pushed. I still took it with open arms, totally chuffed that I can finally get back to normal times. Why then, am I a bit nervous? Could it be that I secretly long for reward and recognition of my efforts? Am I afraid that the PM will dis me for not being able to fix the problems? Why do I care? Why do I care?

Anyway, I am off the project. I am free from the hours. And tonight, I will get a good night's sleep for the first time in 3 weeks. And yet, I still have a nervy feeling in my stomach. Why? Why? Why?

I think I need to evaluate my priorities and my life, once again. Is money and working for a big famous firm all that one needs? Or is it being able to relax every night, even without the money and glory? Maybe consulting is no longer for me. I've been doing it for over 6 years, travelled the world, enjoyed myself and had fun. I've worked amazingly long hours, amazingly long, been ill, been happy and now...now I maybe need a change.

I guess we all feel that way, that a change is good. The grass is always greener isnt it? But maybe in this case, it is. Maybe I need a job that will let me stay in London with my soon to be wife, so that I can be a family person and look after my parents? But then, how to finance it all? Hard graft again. Maybe I should contract? Me, me, me me. Maybe this, maybe that.

Felt this way a few times before. Each time I've felt like this, I've left a company. Each time. Oh jeez.

--
dp

Comments:

  1. Blogger Aravis says @ 9:47 pm
    I hope everything works out. I'm thinking of you!
  2. Blogger Damo says @ 10:42 am
    It's the right time for you to leave that company anyway. I'm sure you can find a decent and predominantly London-based role with your CV...
  3. Blogger the urban fox says @ 10:54 am
    Go with your heart, B1rd. Do what feels right.
  4. Blogger Aravis says @ 9:05 pm
    I hope your father's surgery went well!
  5. Blogger SwissToni says @ 10:25 am
    I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

    work is f*@king b*ll@cks

    ST

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