I want to keep up my objective of a happy outlook on life this year. In the face of adversity, stress, depression, and denial, I want to be able to look upon the situation at hand and know I am centrally happy. I have read of this in many Upanishads. I have studied the ways of the Rishis, and have dreamed of being at one with myself as they claim to have been. Life in an office is rather different to penance in an Indian Jungle, but I guess you could say there are some similarities. There are snakes in both places for instance.

Anyway, why the rambling? Well today I was pushed a little towards losing the balance I have thus far maintained this month. I was hard at work, trying to establish a wonderful relationship between us and someotherteam, and then I discover that said team have been trying to take me for a fool and make me do hard graft on a whim so that they can continue a fallacy of politics. I thought I handled things well, keeping the meeting going as the realisation dawned on me, and immediately tried to set an action going to remedy the problem so as to get the true root of the issue at hand.

I walked back to my desk, and after a while someone whom I had been badgering to help us fix the issue called, asking whether he was still needed tomorrow to continue in the work. This person is eternally humble, a wonderful character, and about the same age as my uncles. I respect him deeply and I couldn't help but tell him the truth. I apologised profusely, bowing verbally on the phone and told him that I have learnt that I had been trying to rope him into a fix that really wasnt proven to be his problem, and that now I knew this fact, I was focusing on getting the proof I lacked as to where the problem really was. He was entirely understanding and wished me well in my search.

So there I sat. Totally dismayed, embarrased and deeply upset that people were trying to take me for a ride. I had done them no wrong. I had helped them infact. I knew they were like that, but I was embarassed that I hadn't been fully diligent in looking at facts prior to taking on the case (it was given to me by my boss). So then I thought, was the boss in on it too? So many actual and potential knives, I hit bottom.

Then I sat up, smiled and carried on. Despite what would happen, I would continue knowing I did no wrong, nor did I intend on doing wrong, nor would I EVER try to do a person wrong intentionally. That is where my smile comes from. That is where it will always come from.
--
dp

Posted 1/27/2005.

Comments:

1.  Aravis says @ 6:11 am
   It sounds as though you handled an awful situation wonderfully. :0)
2.  changeofhart says @ 10:52 am
   dude
   
   you must leave.
   
   great grounding, but in my various jobs, whilst there will *always* be political machinations, never anything to the degree you suffer at Lamecorp Inc.
   
   get out. go somewhere they appreciate intelligence and okra.
3.  The Num Num says @ 3:00 pm
   I hear what you say, but as you know, where the heck do we go from here?
   
   Gardening Center perhaps? Grow some more Okra and Cabbages?
   
   What is Okra by the way, other than a vegetable?
4.  Aravis says @ 7:53 pm
   Nasty...
5.  Damo says @ 1:39 am
   You think the same as me. Which is why we are singularly unsuited to the office environment...
6.  LB says @ 2:23 pm
   I think it is an age thing. The older I get the more comfort I gain from knowing myself that I am comfortable with what I have done whereas previously I'd need to know it from others.
   
   I act reasonably at work. I try and use logic and fairness rather than throw my toys out of the pram and scream, however it is unfortunately the case that the people who yell and scream often get their own way above me. But I would rather be me, I'm sure, and your colleagues would also you rather be you as well and understand that, I think.
   
   the worst mistake you can make in any job is thinking that they would struggle without you. I learnt that a long while back!....
   
   ramble ramble ramble

Leave a comment