Tis amazing what a little Possitive Mental Attitude can do isnt it? I was determined not to let things get me down this year, especially with so much going on (work, house buying, wedding plans, new family assimilations, financial woes etc.) I was certain I wanted to continue into the year as I entered it. I had a smile on my face, peace in my mind, and joy in my heart. Perspective was my tool to help manage the situation, and a little realisation that FEAR is a lovely thing that reminds me I'm still not yet in full control. And you know what? I am bloody surprised that its still hanging in there.

That pretty much sums up my mental process. I read so much about so many things (see that INFP link stuff on the right to understand why - its eerily accurate for me :-/) and am ever so keen to mould and trim things to fit my weirdness, I end up coming up with what I believe are nicely suited schemes for me to follow. I embark on them, and then urm, well, I urm, let them go the way of the dodo. Mostly that is. I'm pretty tenacious when I really want to be, and I guess the above is an indication that I'm not entirely in full control of that tenacity - it seems to make me do things and leave me utterly surprised that I did it. The amount of times I've put up my head at work and thought - sh*t, did I really pull all that together, I can't have...wow! And though changeofheart may question this, many a times I've suddenly stood deadly still on a football pitch and thought - holy moly, did I really score that/pull that pass out of nowhere!?!

So I'm going to keep at it. PMA - not PMT - and see how it turns out.

Other things that have got my attention since the weekend are:

• Old men who refuse to sell me their homes because they want more. Oooooh you naughty old fellas, wake up and smell the Coffee - my offer is WICKED!
• Cromwell Road - where I seem to be spending the entire of January. Nice people really, and its really funny when you bump into people like Frank Lampard (shopping for offers) and really tarted up women who look like supermodels but are pushing a shopping trolley about. Its so incongruent I'm universally amused.
• The BBC's article on the Swastika - since I saw a mini piece in the Metro this morning that boiled my blood immediately (and ruined my eternal zen like calm - ahem) about the EU wanting to ban the swastika after idiot Harry's escapade. I saw red - its an Indian Symbol as well - ban it and you suddenly tell a million or so indians that the EU is not a multicultural community. I am well glad the BBC produced that article, saved me the bother.
• The Economists article on schools winning the right to maintain selection processes for children. I'm all for inclusion (being a minority kinds helps) but there is something that is very important to all communities - education. If there is an acknowledgement that some schools suffer with badly behaved and poorly performing children, it makes sense to change the system to help them, rather than stick a potential genius into the midst in the name of points on a league table. Save and Serve all the children, not a school's position on a ladder - thats my motto. I am dubious of Religious schools, even going so far as to ensure IcyChick mentioned this during the Lord Mayors Anglo-Indian conference at City Hall - diversity and integration are wonderful things that can suffer in religious schools, especially if they are ethnically religious.
  
• Super Size Me - for reminding me that my food is the building block of my body. I rented it from amazon, and am going to give it to my sister to watch in the hope she gains ideas of how to feed her kids (she's the best cook I know by the way, as is one of my aunts, closely followed by mumsie).
• Eat and Two Veg - for being a wonderful new addition to my rota of nice restaurants, and for being totally Vegetarian to boot!
• AC Milan - for giving me hope that they *might* win Serie A :) C'mon you ROSSENERI!

And now, on with the week...
--
dp

Posted 1/18/2005.

Comments:

1.  Crucifer says @ 8:33 pm
   Mmm...
   
   I know just how you feel.
   
   2004 was a dismal year for me and I'm not about to go repeating it again. My motto for this year is: "Smile, and actually mean it"...
   
   ...which if you think about it, is actually quite difficult if you're a grumpy old git like me.
2.  The Num Num says @ 8:38 pm
   Happiness. I guess the crux of the matter is, Cruc, that you gotta figure out what makes you Happy and go get it.
   
   Perpetual grumpiness is probably a fast track to needing drugs to get through life later on. Or its a Ebineezer gene at work ;-)
   
   So whats with this Stargate wedding malarky? Can I come as a Jedi?
3.  Damo says @ 8:53 am
   The Super Size Me DVD is worth it for the extras alone (of which, annoyingly, there are more on the UK edition ... it's usually the US one that has more if anything, and I got an import copy last year).
   
   As for PMA, I'm doing a blinder on that this year. I'm going out of my way to do everything properly. Hasn't got me far yet, but the little pieces should hopefully add up over time...
4.  changeofhart says @ 9:25 am
   alright numnum, I took the bait...
   
   I've NEVER seen you play a decent pass or score a goal that wasnt from 2 yards out wearing your 'first sport' copy football top saying PELE - INDIAN on the shoulders...
   Oh, and its HART, not HEART.
   
   a lovely thing happened to me today. In a world of chavs and posh reigate people colliding on an all too infrequent basis, a couple of things happened which showed me up for the wnacker that I am this morning. Firstly, I'm driving my usual route to the station, an there is an amusing poor visibility offset junction which I cross over. Now you have to remember where I live - I live where posh and trash live on each others doorstep (doesnt everyone) - but this morning, a big f*** off BMW had ploughed straight into the front drivers side wing of a Nova, and the nova had right of way. My first thought? "Ingorant posh reigate drivers in their big cars, pushing the burberry racer out of his way - ha! that'll learn him". My second thought? You'll burn in hell COH for thoughts like that.
   So I resigned myself to stop enjoying other peoples misfortunes and public failures.
   And what happens? I'm dashing up the stairs to catch my train, and my money goes everywhere (bad karma). I pick it up, buy a paper, and put my headphones back in and walk down the platform. I then get a little tap on the shoulder from a complete stranger who put a quid in my hand. Either I dropped it and he was being nice, or I look like a tramp this morning... (good.bad karma)
   Inpiring words from you all. Must do better. B-. See me after school.
5.  The Num Num says @ 9:46 am
   Booooo. You just weren't watching very carefully that's all. I've scored plenty of good uns, and emulated Baggio's vision and passing skills many a time. :-P
   
   I don't like 4x4 cars, I think they are a waste of space.
   
   See http://www.wastemonsters.org.uk/ for more info on how to be cheeky with them.
   
   Super Size Me is really good the 2nd time around BTW.
   
   I am now brewing up a little bit of a rant, will have to materialise it into a post soon. Profits, they tell a wholly different story to the marketing that emerges from various orifices of large corporations...Mulling over the facts and will blurt it all out soon.
6.  Damo says @ 11:54 am
   I understand the karma thing, Tony. I once gave a load of people a lift up to Birmingham to see a gig. For every broken down car we passed, they all laughed at it. I then broke down in Birmingham in the middle of nowhere, not belonging to any motoring organisation (had to join on the spot and pay a penalty), and was stuck there overnight. Eventually taken in by a newsagent owner when she arrived at 5am, and I helped her stuff Sunday supplements into newspapers, after which she fed me tea for a couple of hours until the local garage opened.
   
   As for the pound you were given, maybe they had read this book.
7.  changeofhart says @ 2:40 pm
   Aaaaaagh damn you karma. (that statement alone will get me MORE bad karma...)
   ok, my sister is in hospital, so I go and see her, am nice to her, glad she is getting better etc etc - thats a good thing, right?
   SO WHY do I get back to my desk, stretch my legs under my desk, cross them at the ankles and... wait a minute, whats that? my feet feel....strangely....joined....ah balls, chewing gum on the sole of one shoe, now stuck to the top of the other....
   In the words of PSB / Dusty: what have I, what have I, what have I dont to deserve this?

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